fate

fate.

i hate that word.

it's a scapegoat.

every time something bad happens "it was meant to happen"

it steals away any achievement.

every time something good happens "the fates were kind to bless us"

we never do a thing, we're just mere puppets dangling from the strings of fate.

my mother took me to a witch when i was really young. an old shriveled woman said to be able to look into your soul and tell you your future. i barely remember it, but it is said that the woman pointed at me as we crossed the threshold with a look of pure fear in her features. "tainted" she had called me "the sins of the father have tainted the child". this is something every mother is longing to hear. looking back, i think that that day marked the end of my life as i knew it. and i knew very little of my own life at that point. 

but i guess i did have to pay for my father's sins. 

fate is indeed a cruel thing. for instead of punishing the responsible ones, it turns it's wrath to those who did nothing more than be brought into this world. because tell me, who was more punished: my family who died, or me, the only one who was left behind after witnessing their deaths? from where i stand, death sounds like an easy punishment. 

after all living is what's harder. 

do i believe in fate?

i would like to thing i am very much responsible for every move i make, but my whole existence has made me doubt it. for if it hadn't been for their deaths, i would have never be where i am today. somewhere i shouldn't even be. doing things i shouldn't even be allowed to do. i'm a fluke. a unique occurrence. the only one like me between all of them. and i'm every bit as good as them - and that scares them. the fact that that one tainted child could be so much more than them. only few of them even dared to accept me.

but fate is a very cruel thing indeed. 

of the tree that welcomed my presence, one is dead, the other is mangled and lost his loved one, and the other... has lost himself. because i'm a tainted child that must pay for her father's sins and they dared associate with me. i wish i could just leave them alone. turn around and never look back. but every time i tried to, i find myself incapable of doing so. i'm bonded with them. and i fear that might bring forth our demise. 

in the end, i guess i find it ironic. 

because they always called us, "the weapons of fate"